Revenge of the Living Dead Girls (1987)

The recipe for making a zombie movie is, for better or worse, short on ingredients.  Start with zombies (any zombie will do), mix in the living, add a dash of tension and a twist of gore and you’re assured a half way decent film.  Making a sexy zombie movie only requires one more ingredient.  In theory, it shouldn’t be that difficult.  Yet, time and time again, we’ve seen this fail.

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls is a French movie.  The French know sexy.  Right?  So it should come as no surprise that this zombie movie has a high quota of sexiness. So, why isn't this the biggest zombie cult film on the planet?

First, let’s cover off on the title of the movie which should be taken literally. Three teen girls are killed by drinking contaminated milk.  Yes.  Milk.  Soon after their death, the company responsible for contaminating the milk with deadly chemicals decides to dump the evidence in the same cemetery where the girls’ bodies are buried.  The chemicals, for reasons that are never explained, cause the girls’ corpses to rise from the grave.  Now, they’re on a mission of revenge.

Revenge... and a little swimming.

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Even zombies need a spa day

Revenge... and some sex.  I mean, their bodies aren’t getting any younger, right?

She has a great body but her face.... not so much

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls delivers a zombie movie first - staggered body decay.  Little did I know that when you die your face is the first to rot while the rest of your body retains its youthful glow.  Or, maybe that is a side effect of death-by-tainted-milk.

If naked zombie girls aren’t your thing, there is plenty of nudity amongst the living.  Nearly every female character in the movie gets naked. It's so prevelant that it’s easy to forget the "revenge" in Revenge of the Living Dead Girls.

After the first few nude scenes, you start to get bored.  And boredom is here in spades.  Most of the movie follows a dialog – nude scene – dialog – zombies walking – dialog – nude scene formula.   It is surprising when someone actually dies in the movie.

What hurts Revenge of the Living Dead Girls more than anything is the incompressible story.  At best, Revenge of the Living Dead Girls works best as a series of vignettes.  Maybe something is lost in translation.  It was obvious the version I watched was not “uncut” as the title mentioned.  Yet, I have a hard time believing the missing scenes would have helped make sense of it all.

But maybe we’re not supposed to understand the story.  Maybe it is too complex.  Just sit back and watch the vagina… I mean zombies.