Zombie Death House is about zombies in a prison, hence "zombie" and "death house." So why does it take so long for the movie to get to the prison? It's anybody's guess. The movie opens with a few shots of the prison, but it takes a half hour to get back, and the movie only runs 90 minutes.
Directed by Nightmare on Elm Street and Tenebre actor John Saxon, who also appears as the diabolical Colonel Burgess, Zombie Death House looks like a solid 80's TV movie, like a long episode of Magnum P.I. or Miami Vice. It was originally titled Death House, which is apparent because of the way "zombie" is tacked on to the title screen in a different font, and as the movie goes on it becomes clear why zombie wasn't originally a part of the title.
"Zombie" Death House follows Vietnam veteran Derek Keillor (the late Young and the Restless actor Dennis Cole) whose back story is complicatedly explained in both flashbacks and real time. Once a decorated soldier, Derek takes a job as a chauffeur for mafia boss Vic Moretti (Tenebre actor Anthony Franciosa, man the Tenebre stories must have been flying on that set!), but starts seeing Moretti's girlfriend (Dana Lis) on the side.
When Derek witnesses a bad deal go down, he apparently quits, though that scene is never shown. Then it makes things confusing, since Saxon and his editor put a scene where Derek is packing up his car to drive away from his hotel room home, telling his hotel manager friend to tell Lis that "I've fought my last war." However, the next scene has Lis back at the hotel where Derek is waiting for her to show him her titties in their final tryst.
Once Moretti drowns his girlfriend and frames Derek for the crime, Derek is back in his car again, and is chased by the cops until he is quickly caught, and sent to prison. So now the zombies show up right? Wait, wait. Slow down! The movie has to become a prison film first!
At the prison, Moretti's gay brother is waiting to torment Derek with his tough words and lack of physical conditioning, and so is the head prison guard, who wears reflective sunglasses in true Cool Hand Luke guard fashion, even indoors! Behind the scenes, the prison doctor is conducting a behavior modification experiment, but when Saxon arrives and adds an experimental serum to the chemical, things start slowly, very slowly getting out of hand. Eventually the prison priest comes down with the virus, and has a spontaneous nose bleed right as he's pouring commissary wine for the prisoners. Oops, a drop got in the wine! Talk about the blood of Christ!
Once, the inmates take over the prison, the movie slowly transitions once more, this time into a sort of zombie film. The prisoners don't become zombies, per se, but rather infected humans with the ability to tear a guy's head off if there are enough camera angles are involved and the act ultimately happens off-camera. With the prison ravaged from the virus, Derek and his new love interest, a scientist (Tane McClure) brought to the prison by Saxon, along with the warden's two kids, must find their way out of the prison before Saxon blows it up.
Far from a good movie, Zombie Death House's faults, combined with it's cheesy 80's look and score, make it a unintentionally laughable affair that is, at times, oddly enjoyable. Zombie Death House is by no means a good movie, but sometimes a crappy movie is amusing in spite of itself and the absolute wreck that Zombie Death House is, complete with scenes out of sequence and ridiculous dream sequences from out of nowhere, there's something sort of charming about Saxon's sole directorial effort. Wanting to neither be a straight zombie movie or a prison movie, Zombie Death House is just bad enough to be enjoyable.